“Isn’t it broken dreams that bend our knees, that make us numb?” – Sátántangó
The other day someone said to me, “Jessica, what you are trying to do, you can not do.” Well, I thought, that describes my life with frightening clarity.
With that thought in my head, nothing better to do than watch the film, Satantango that I had requested from the library after a fruitless search in their system for a copy of the book.
Belá Tarr adapted the novel by László Krasznahorkai into a seven hour film. I can give Belá seven hours: why not? otherwise it’s just me, Morrissey, and a glass of wine.
“My heart, he thought again and again.”
All is in the gloaming, half light and rain, in this incredible, meditative film. Maybe someday I’ll figure out what it all means. Tarr uses length to do the same thing that Mark Rothko did with the scale of his paintings: it’s the complete absorption into the artist’s feeling and vision.
The sins we commit against ourselves is the protracted theme stretching across the hours where nothing much happens, because as Tarr says, “nothing really happens as we flee from one condition to the other….all that remains is time.”
“There’s a huge difference between plodding and plodding.”
It’s Csak a gond, a munka (just trouble and work). It seems that way to me too. And all we really want to know is why?
“Regard me as a sad researcher who investigates why everything is as terrible as it is.”
It all makes a circle coming back on itself. Our inertia, and inability to seize…joy, have faith in life, each other and ourselves. I don’t know. I haven’t got it worked out. Perhaps I just feel defeated.